Fit For a Fight

I love athletics and have participated in various sporting events all my life.  As a highschooler, I was on the track and field, cricket, football (soccer), and table tennis teams.  I have never considered myself greatly skilled at any of them and I performed best as a cross country and middle distance athlete.  I never began seriously training for track and field until I was about 17 years old. In fact, for most sports I just played casually and showed up, but I loved to run. In football (soccer), I didn't juggle the ball with my feet or head as well as some could and my small, skinny stature made me less likely to maintain possession of the ball when tackled by bigger, stronger opponents, but good enough to represent my high school and play for my local amateur team in the island league. In cricket, I had the eye-hand coordination that was necessary to be average but since I did not spend a lot of time practicing, I never gained what it took to excel to a regional or national youth team.
So what was my secret? If you were as good as me, I'd win! If you were just slightly better than me, you'd lose! Why? Because I could run all day and would never give up. I was a pest on the pitch (or field, if you like the American terminology).  If winning required a final sprint, I would be dying before I gave up. So, you would need to be better than me, because you would likely not have the will to keep going as long as I would.  I had, what my classmates at school called "guts" to outlast you.  I'd die only after you did.
After moving to Orlando in 1993, I started running more frequently, completing eight Disney marathons and a half marathon. I didn't run or train extensively so my times were hohum but I never quit. In 2004, I started roadbiking with my son who had recently returned home from college. It was an opportunity for us to be active together. My riding buddies know that they can count on one thing - whether its a 20 miler of a 100 miler, I would only quit if forced to due to serious injury or illness.
I guess that it is just my DNA, because that philosophy extended to my academic career.  I encountered numerous set-backs while working on my dissertation research - lost data, failed equipment, accidental destruction of research materials. Although often deflated by the experiences, the only thing that I never considered was quitting.  That may not always be the wisest choice, but for me it always seems the only choice.
As in 2007 when I was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer, I now face the daunting future of another cancer diagnosis - angiosarcoma.
During World War II, British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill gave numerous speeches to rally the British people in the face of an advancing German army. One of his most famous included phrases that have been modified and used hundreds of times: "We shall never surrender...we shall never, never, never give up!"
On my recent trip to Trinidad and Tobago, I contracted a viral infection and developed symptoms of constant sneezing, a slight fever, and a cough that indicated a mild chest infection. More concerning, I also began to experience night sweats. I was scared. Scared that my night sweats were a sign of cancer metastasis and a bleak outlook.  By the time I returned to the US after an eight hour flight delay and lack of sleep, I was exhausted, scared, and depressed. For the first time, I felt like giving up - a feeling I had not experienced during my episode of cancer 10 years ago. After a long night's sleep that extended through the next, I felt stronger emotionally and physically. I now feel energized and ready for the fight. There are things in in life worth fighting for. I won't ever give up on my family. I won't ever give up on my marriage, and despite the many questions I sometimes have about religion, I will never give up on God.
Thanks to the hundreds of you who have expressed, in various ways, your love and support - thinking of me, praying for me, encouraging me, sending notes (please no memes) and even those silent, unspoken fears of what this may mean; and I can't omit my biking brothers who prayed for me on my last ride before my rescheduled surgery at 8:00 a.m. on Wednesday, August 23. This I know! I plan to face this challenge the only way I know. To smile, and maybe cry and to display guts and courage. My goal is to return to good health; to return to join my friends riding for a long bike ride; to continue to bask in the love of my wife, children, and precious grandchildren. I will fight this setback the only way I know - I will never, never, ever give up!
Love and blessings!
Len