The Other Side

Several years ago, in fact in April 2007, I was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. (You can find several posts on this site related to this journey of illness, treatment, and recovery). I recall that there were hundreds (maybe thousands), of people praying for my recovery. I received communications, usually emails from unknown individuals with promises of prayer and support. During 2007 and much of 2008, the prospect of a long healthy life was a distant, and not certain, expectation. The difficult experience of radiation treatments and chemotherapy sapped my body of its energy and vitality. I had lost about 45 pounds from a top weight of 169. At about 5 ft. 6 inches tall I was reduced to my teenage weight.

There were not many hopeful people. During the episodes of excruciating pain while attempting to swallow, and the loss of appetite during chemotherapy, I often wondered whether I would soon leave a widow and orphans.

Today, I experience good health with an active lifestyle, biking, jogging, and occasionally hiking.

About one year following my diagnosis, and while the light at the end of the tunnel of recovery beamed in the distance, I received a call from a dear friend, a young mentee, who informed me that she was diagnosed with liver cancer. Cheryl was young, late 30's, recently married and a devoted Christian. I first met Cheryl while I was a PhD student at Indiana State University. A teenage freshman from Chicago, I picked her up every Saturday morning to attend church and she usually spent the day at our home - having lunch and bonding with our young children, whom she adored. After her graduation, she returned to Chicago but we remained in touch, always asking about our children, and once coming to Orlando to visit after I had competed school and moved south. In spite of numerous chemo treatments, natural remedies, and the ardent prayers by her church, her family and friends, within a few months Cheryl passed away. Why?

Several weeks later, I sat in church and witnessed a testimony of praise from someone who claimed that her prayers were answered as she expressed her joy of recovery from illness. A few years after I listened to the pastor's wife tell the church how God had answered the prayers of her family as He had intervened in the miraculous healing of her son and later her own healing from cancer. and I could only think of Cheryl and the many other Cheryls I know whose survival was not honored, whose prayers were not answered.

How do parents and friends feel when they listen to those who claim that God answered their prayers, but whose hopes were dashed as their pleadings were not heard? The infant tormented by cancer who finally passes away? The wife who prays for God's intervention into the life and wellbeing of her husband who is then brutally killed on the job by a mass murder?

Their cry: "I prayed and he did not answer my prayer!"

How do we understand prayer? Is it about God or is it about us?

Does God pick and choose the ones he wants to answer?

Do we need to pray? Won't God just do his thing anyway?

So many questions!

Please share your thoughts!

Health Update XXVII

It has been one year since I completed my last dose of chemotherapy. Every day I find many reminders of what my life was like 12 short months ago. I often read my thoughts from a year ago – typed messages I sent to many of you expressing the painful steps of this terrible journey. One year ago, I cried out in pain pleading with God for strength to endure the burden of pain and illness; today, I can look back and find much richness in the experience.

Last week, I made a business trip to Washington, DC and had the opportunity of seeing many friends and relatives at the Metropolitan SDA church – Lystra, Evo, Hazel, Adrian, Nedra, Wanda, Brenda, Edsell, Gordon, Bonny, Betty, and many more. To a person, the greetings went like this:

Len: Big smile.

Friends: A look of surprise and wonderment followed by a BIG hug.

Friends: “Len! It is good to see you! You look good! Boy, we have been praying for you!”

Len: (Bigger smile) “Thank you very much! God has been good to me!”

This initial greeting was then followed by the pleasantries of old friends greeting each other – the casual talk and the inquiries about my wife and kids. Inevitably, the conversation migrated back to the many prayers and longings for my full recovery. I have learnt many lessons through this experience but the one that lingers most is the generosity, love, and prayers of my family and friends, my colleagues at work, and my fellow church members. There is a generosity and sincerity of spirit that is often displayed among Christians during times of crisis that we can often take for granted. I have been reminded that among Christians “a friend is always loyal...” Proverbs 17:17 (New Living Translation).

During the mid 1980’s while attending graduate school at Indiana State University, I met Cheryl. She was an undergraduate student who attended our church while she attended college to obtain a degree in nutrition. A devoted Adventist Christian, she became attached to our then pre-teen children. I picked her up on Sabbath mornings for church and she often spent the day with us, taking refuge in our home during the Sabbath hours before returning to the dorm. We remained in touch over the years and during my illness she frequently emailed or called to encourage me. Two months ago, Cheryl, barely 40 years old and recently married, was diagnosed with liver cancer. Please pray for my friend, Cheryl because “… the prayer of a righteous person has great effectiveness.” I know. You have been praying for me.

Today, the lingering effects of radiation include symptoms of neuropathy – numbness of the soles of my feet; trismus – the inability to open my mouth fully; xerostomia – dry mouth due to lack of saliva; constriction of the esophagus and trachea resulting in the restrictions of swallowing and breathing. The oral deficiencies prevent me from singing as I was used to doing. But as I like to say, “other than that, I am perfect.” Perfect, because the God whom you beseeched on my behalf has written a new song in my heart. And for you and me and Cheryl, the greatest privilege we can share would be that of singing together the rich harmonies of the earth made new. The song is called “The Song of Moses and the Lamb.”

Love and Blessings,

HEALTH UPDATE XXI

March 18, 2008


I believe in the power of prayer! I grew up in a home where the expression of faith and the power of prayer were as evident in our daily lives as a breath of fresh ocean breeze. During the last few months, the expression of prayer has played a key role in my speedy, miraculous recovery from surgery and the treatments of radiation and chemotherapy for nasopharyngeal cancer. Miraculous, I believe, because the God whom we petition is a God of miracles; a God who specializes in doing for us what life itself cannot do; what medical science often misunderstands; and undoing what the ravages of sin bequeaths to us fallen humanity. My family and I have been strengthened physically, emotionally and spiritually during this experience. I believe that your many prayers have been answered over and over again as you petitioned God on our behalf.

A week ago, I informed you of a setback in my progress. We all prayed that by God’s divine intervention I would be spared another round of surgery. Today, I believe your prayers, our prayers, have been answered. The answer is a confirmation of your faith. The neck and throat swelling that I experienced last week has receded; my breathing is far less labored and near normal. After a visit to my otolaryngologist today, the report is: no cancer, no surgery. He declared that there was no longer a need for surgery since the swelling was far less severe and there was no evidence of active cancer. A later visit to the medical oncologist supported the earlier conclusion. Another follow up PET scan is scheduled for late June with follow up visits also scheduled. Meanwhile, a gradual return to normal activity, including exercise was recommended.

Although my words fail to express the depth of gratitude I feel, I found some which clearly suffice:

Psalm 40
1 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 145
17 The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness. 18 The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He grants the desires of those who fear him;

Psalm 146
1 Praise the Lord! Let all that I am praise the Lord. 2 I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.

Psalm 147
1 Praise the Lord! How good to sing praises to our God! How delightful and how fitting!

Love and blessings to you all!

Len